My beautiful Bailey . . . My heart is breaking over this. It's been five days. I fear she is dead, probably caught by a cat or fox. I do not know. I have listened for her, and looked for her. If I hadn't clipped her wings, she probably could have gotten away and survived . . .

I put Bailey and Nikki outside in a an old pigeon coop while I cleaned their room out. Nikki, being the goober that she is, chased Bailey to the ground, just cause she could. I don't know if Bailey was caught in there (there are three tail feathers on the ground) or if she crawled out to climb up higher. A part of me wants to blame Nikki, but another part just can't manage it. Nikki is a bully, but she's not cruel and Bailey was part of the flock.

I love this little bird so much. She was like me in so many ways. And I invested so much into her, not money, but love and time. Bailey was a rescue bird when I got her, barely even hand-tame anymore. She's suffered from so much neglect that she had lost all of her social skills. She just never knew how to act with other birds, or even with people. It took a lot of work to win her over, and was worth every second. She was my baby, and was such a sweetie. She'd make the sweetest crooning noises and bow her head for a good neck scratching. I will miss her so much. I think Nikki, and Dru the pigeon will too. My poor, sweet Bailey . . .

Thanks to financial problems, a few stressful problems I'm trying to get resolved, and now Bailey's death, depression and anxiety are taking me over. I can feel all the symptoms starting again. Now, to add on the very likely aspect of finding a new job . . .